Finding peace when all feels crazy
In our Peace in Chronic Illness chat room and in the old Rest Ministries chat room, there've been many times when someone is facing problems that leave them feeling like nearly everything has been taken away from them. Perhaps life has been turned upside down with terrible pain that goes on and on or perhaps problem after problem is coming and, with existing illness, it is difficult or impossible to see how you can handle it all. At these times, we have a lot of questions for God about this. It seems impossible to have peace at these times. The thoughts below come out of discussions we've had -- they're not all from me. It's amazing how God can work, even in a chat room!
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This is a subject close to my heart. So many chronically ill Christians are hurting because they think if they believed better, they would be healed. Or maybe if they prayed right or had the right kind of faith or something. Or maybe they realize that's not the case but they keep hearing it from Christian friends. And whether or not they quite believe that, they may well feel like God's put them on a shelf. It's a really tough place to be, feeling God has rejected you on top of the pain and limitations of the illness itself. It can leave you feeling like your world's turned upside down and trying to cope with the changes.
About childhood trauma
I talk to a lot of people who have trauma from their childhoods and see the struggles they have in their lives today and in trying to heal. They need love, acceptance, and a lot of listening to. I think a lot of people not touched by trauma know, at least intellectually, that such trauma leaves long lasting scars and makes the victim’s life more difficult. I suspect, however, that they do not realize how pervasive it is; how it effects so much of someone’s life and how hared it is to heal from it, especially when you're talking about someone who was traumatized as a small child. It’s easy to think, that was such a long time ago, why haven’t you gotten past this yet? In addition, many Christians will think, you just need to forgive, forget, and move on. It is true that forgiveness is part of the healing process, but when childhood trauma is involved, forgiveness is complicated. I’ll explain that a bit more further down.
Thoughts about Sovereign Grace Ministries
Years ago, I was member of Covenant Life Church (CLC), the flagship church of Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM). My experience at CLC was overall quite good. I grew in knowing and worshiping the Lord and respected the leadership. My best friends were there as we joined while we were in college, and just after. Their acceptance of me and respect for me helped me grow and heal -- helped me to forgive the hurts I had from when I was a kid. There were a few things that they taught that I disagreed with, quietly.
I left CLC in 1987 when I moved to California and got married to someone who was not a member of the church. I would go back and visit occasionally. I happened to be at the Sunday morning service at the SGM church in Pasadena the last Sunday Ché Ahn was there. I also went to CLC when I was back east for a visit when Iain was a baby and later after we moved back east. I fully intended to join the Fairfax SGM church, but my sleep apnea prevented me from doing so. I did visit CLC and then attend the Fairfax church for a while but not long enough to join. It was mostly good; I felt very welcomed and because I had been a member of CLC way back when, folks looked up to me and I was respected, but I didn't feel like I deserved it. (Sorry I'm not giving the names correctly here; they've changed a couple times and I've been losing track)
HEAV 2011 Homeschool Conference
My son, Iain, and I sent to HEAV 2011, probably the biggest homeschool conference in the country. It was held in Richmond, Virginia earlier this month. I've been going every year for quite a few years now since Iain is almost 18 and we've been homeschooling quite a while. Probably the biggest reason I go is because of what you can see on the left here; the huge exhibit hall. There are many companies now, selling curriculum and books to homeschoolers. This gives me a chance to look over curriculum and talk to the vendors about it. That's a huge help to me in deciding what to use. Most vendors have websites with some sample pages, but I find it much more helpful to see
When Iain was younger, he would go along with me and attend the children's program. He enjoyed that a lot, but in recent years, he's been old enough to stay home. I had invited him to come with me when he first got too old to attend the children's program because teens are allowed to attend sessions and go in the exhibit hall. He had absolutely no interest. I probably asked him another year or two and had stopped.
Invisible Illness Week -- September 13-19, 2010
Each year, Rest Ministries sponsors Invisible Illness Week and holds a conference. The links below are to the Blog Talk Radio pages for each session; you can go there either at the time given or later to listen to the session.
Monday, September 13, 1:30 pm eastern/US Living with Chronic Illness: Why It Hurts, How to Cope
Tuesday, September 14, 1:30 pm eastern/US Relationships When You Love with a Chronic Illness
Wednesday, September 15, 1:30 pm eastern/US Getting Organized and Time Management; Parenting
Thursday, September 16, 1:30 pm eastern/US Explaining Invisible Illness; Girl Talk: How Connecting with Others Helps Us All
Friday, September 17, 1:30 pm eastern/US Career, Working, Starting Own Biz; In Closing -- Call in time.
Invisible Illness Week has information about the conference, including more details on the sessions. You can also subscribe to the podcast and listen to sessions from this year and previous years.
Katydids
I went outside this evening and the katydids were so loud, I decided to record them and to post them. Even on normal years, when I go outside, they’re loud enough that I wonder sometimes how loud I need to call the cats so they can hear me over the katydids! This year they seem louder than ever and they seem to keep getting louder....
When you listen to the recording, the katydids sort of sounds like white noise, but then you hear them rising and falling. I started recording this in the front yard; you can hear me talking to Luath; I was throwing a frisbee for him. I then pick up Leia and we all come inside where the katydids aren’t near so loud. I then go in the backyard with just Luath to call for Sakura. She came in later on.
PS This is a truly random blog!
Having fun taking photos
I’ve been taking a lot of photos the last few weeks, mostly of my favorite subjects. I’ve found it’s quite stress relieving though I seem to take them faster than I can sort, crop, title, and post them! I’m thrilled that I finally got some nice shots of Luath catching a frisbee.
You can now subscribe to my photo albums directly so you get an email when I post a new album, though unlike the blog, you will need to go to the website to see the actual photos. If you use an RSS reader, you can get the feed if you prefer. If you follow me on twitter, you will see tweets for new blog posts and new photo albums there and since my tweets go into facebook you can also see them if you friend me there.
I have more spring flowers to post. My neighbor across the street has some stunning tulips in his front yard and I got some good photos of them yesterday. I’m hoping to get them posted later today.
